Category: cityhypnosis

Sex is liberating and enjoyable. It is a message that has become the social and cultural norm.

However, for a significant number of women it is anything but.

According to a recent study, one in 10 British women finds sex painful and a leading cause is a condition known as vaginismus.

The NHS defines it as the body’s automatic reaction to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration.

The vaginal muscles tighten up and the woman has no control over it. Someone with the condition will find it hard inserting a tampon, struggle to have sex or feel a burning or stinging pain when attempting penetration.

Hypnotherapist Aaron Surtees is only too aware of this common but little-discussed problem.

The celebrity hypnotist reveals it is not unusual for him to see around 10 women a month who have accepted they need help to tackle the condition.

He said: ‘Those with undiagnosed vaginismus can feel embarrassed or abnormal, feelings which can prevent them from seeking help’.

‘It can also impact upon self-esteem and can lead to anxiety and depression’.

‘Those with vaginismus may avoid being sexual, may avoid being intimate or socialising or dating for fear that it could lead to sex’.

Here, Mr Surtees discusses this psychological condition and why the treatment plan he offers is so successful.

What is the root cause of vaginismus and its impact?

Explains Mr Surtees: ‘Vaginismus is different from just pain during sex because it’s the body’s automatic reaction that causes it’.

‘Vaginismus is a psychological condition that manifests itself in a physical form: the fear of penetration which revolves around a fear of pain and loss of control’.

‘Many of my clients with this condition are women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s who have never been able to use a tampon or insert a finger inside their vagina’.

‘Some women experience fear, difficulties or pain from the first time they try to insert something into their vagina and instead of getting better, it can get worse over time. This is called ‘primary vaginismus. Other women can be fine for decades but develop pain at a later date, this is known as ‘secondary vaginismus’ and can be caused after pregnancy or due to gynecological problems such as endometriosis’.

‘The mind and the body are interlinked when it comes to sex and vaginismus. The underlying causes of the condition are varied but in the case of primary vaginismus, common factors include an irrational fear or anxiety about pain, pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Generalized anxiety or other anxiety disorders can also cause vaginismus’.

‘Religious or cultural taboos around sex where it is branded as a dirty or unspoken act during childhood and adolescence, something only to be done when consummating marriage. This creates an inner conflict about whether to be sexual or not and sticks in the subconscious mind’.

‘Unaroused sex or abuse, having sex when you really don’t want to or a history of physical, emotional or sexual trauma or abuse will also have a great impact and could be underlying causes of vaginismus’.

‘Unrealistic expectations of sex leading to the fear of not being ‘’good enough’’ in bed can also cause the problem to manifest’.

The treatment plan & why it works

1. Hypnosis is used to relax the client and allows the subconscious mind to open up.
2. Positive suggestions are made around penetration and sexual imagery, this helps to normalise sex and promote it as a positive, healthy and enjoyable activity.
3. Getting the client to visualise herself feeling pleasure from intercourse is key to great results.

High-flying recruitment manager Gautam Raval was once a self-confessed ‘’functional alcoholic’’.

At the height of his addiction it was not uncommon for the now 42-year-old to consume, on average, up to 12 miniature bottle of Smirnoff neat vodka to get through his working day.

After more than 10 years of hard drinking, the alcohol started to damage his internal organs and the now married father-of-two found himself diagnosed with acute pancreatitis and making frequent hospital visits. Doctors gave him the stark warning that if he did not seek help for his addiction he would die.

It was a wake up call and one that led Gautam to seek help through Alcoholics Anonymous and also through prescribed medication. When it became apparent both were not suitable avenues to help Gautam, it was his wife Sheetal who suggested hypnotherapy. Gautam found himself sitting before Aaron Surtees of City Hypnosis, a decision he credits with saving his life.

Here, Gautam who has been sober for eight years reveals why Aaron’s method and treatment plan helped him to overcome his addiction and banish alcohol from his life.

Said Gautam: ‘I had always enjoyed a drink and it became part of my after-work wind down or socialising routine from 2000 when I moved to the United States for work.’

‘However when I returned in 2005 and found myself with a job in recruitment that’s when the drinking escalated. Vodka became my weapon of choice’

‘The rewards for hitting targets are huge in recruitment and on pay day we would be taken out, all expenses paid for, to swanky restaurants and bars where we celebrated. This is when the daytime drinking started and it eventually turned into drinking at lunchtime every day of the working week. I found drinking helped to take away whatever was bothering me. Eventually it became normal for me to start drinking in the morning.’

‘I would start my day with two or three miniature bottles of vodka before I went into the office, I would have another two bottles at lunchtime, another two or three bottles after work and anywhere between two to four bottles once I got home.’

‘I was eating throughout the day as well as consuming this amount of alcohol. Throughout it all I was continuing to work and was successful at my job.’

‘I was never abusive or aggressive as a result of my drinking but I knew I wasn’t being a good husband to my wife who I married in 2010.’

‘As the years went on, I found myself becoming increasingly angry and frustrated with myself as I hid the extent of my drinking from those closest to me – I would lock myself away from my family and wife at the weekends.’

‘felt trapped like a hamster in a cage just going round and round on a wheel caught in a vicious cycle and this continued for years until it all came to a head in 2013.’

‘At this point the neat vodka was starting to cause severe damage to my internal organs and I was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis and was in hospital multiple times.’

‘I knew I needed help and I remember breaking down in tears at work and admitting I had a problem. This was the turning point and when I went home I told my wife the truth about my drinking and took that first important step of admitting I needed to get help.’

 

Aaron’s method & why it worked

‘By the time I arrived at Aaron’s practice I was at rock bottom.’

‘During the first session Aaron introduced himself and spoke to me in a soft and gentle tone which helped to put me at ease from the start.’

‘The session continued in this manner with Aaron just talking to me and relaxing my mind and body and asking me to go on a journey in my mind. I know now that this is when Aaron plants positive messages in the subconscious mind.’

‘At the end of the session I can remember feeling tired and I fell asleep in the car (my wife was driving) on my way home. I remember not wanting a drink for the first time in years after that first session and that I didn’t want to taste alcohol in my mouth.’

‘I had around six to seven sessions with Aaron and during the trance state he would put me in, he would tell me that I didn’t like the smell or taste of alcohol – something that I know worked because after one particular session, I found myself on the tube sitting next to someone who had been drinking and I had to move’.

‘Aaron was also helping to improve my wellbeing and mental health as I always felt upbeat after my sessions with him’.

‘After the sessions finished, I went on to have kids and buy a house. Eights years of sobriety have passed and I have never been more happier or content’.

‘Aaron’s method was a gradual process rather than a quick fix and took commitment on my part and a desire for it to be successful but I can honestly say it 100% worked for me.’

Are you filled with anxiety or fear? Do you find yourself prone to emotional eating or using ‘life crutches’ such as smoking, drinking or recreational drugs to cope with the daily stresses of life?

The answer to tackling these problems could lie, not with willpower alone, but with hypnotherapy.

If we look at the psychology behind hypnosis, we see that there’s the conscious mind and then there’s the subconscious mind.

Hypnotherapy focuses on reprogramming the subconscious mind in order to overcome or control habits that are stopping you from leading a happy and fulfilled life.

Hypnotherapist Aaron Surtees is only too aware of the power of hypnotherapy to enable clients to master their lives.

Mr Surtees has treated celebrities, including Charlie Brooker and Ant McPartlin, at his London-based practice.

Here, in his latest blog, Mr Surtees reveals the top five life problems people seek his help for and why hypnotherapy is the best form of treatment to overcome these issues to lead a happy and fulfilled life.

Why are anxiety, weight gain, smoking, lack of confidence and excessive drinking the top five most common problems people seek help for?

Aaron explains: ‘’Anxiety or social phobia, problems with over-eating, lack of confidence, inability to stop smoking and excessive drinking are so common because of the triggers they cause in the brain’’.

‘’They are issues that are connected to the reward centre of the brain and to the part of the mind that relates to emotions. These issues are very much problems related to the world in which we live in today’’.

‘’We no longer live in the caveman era where we lived in fear because our daily existence was literally a fight for survival’’.

‘’Now that fear has turned into anxiety in the modern world and has been caused by the hyper-connected world we live in. Human beings feel they are in constant competition whether in the workplace for jobs or with friends and peers when it comes to living ‘our best lives’’.

‘’It’s this pressure that causes anxiety or lack of confidence and this then leads to people emotional eating, smoking or drinking to relieve the stress. These activities cause a dopamine hit in the brain which releases feel-good emotions and they then become unhealthy coping mechanisms. It then becomes a vicious cycle and eventually a habit that is hard to break.’’

Why is hypnotherapy the best treatment for these problems?  

Said Aaron: ‘’Hypnotherapy is quick acting and can yield positive changes that will last long term.’’

‘’Hypnosis is safe and effective and has been scientifically proven to improve health and well-being. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are known to achieve success at diminishing negative habits after just a few sessions.’’

‘’Hypnosis relates not to the conscious mind but to the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind relates to the part which can be reprogrammed in order to help quit smoking, overeating. During hypnotherapy sessions the subconscious mind can be reprogrammed in such an extent that the willpower to quit smoking is boosted and made more powerful.’’

‘’It’s important people understand that hypnosis is not only effective but totally safe.’’

‘’A lot of people have the false belief that hypnosis can be used against them or that they will lose control over themselves. This simply is not true. It is an idea that has been born from fiction or Hollywood movies. In reality, hypnosis is an art which has helped thousands to quit smoking or lose weight or helped boost confidence so that people can achieve their full potential.’’

What would you say to disbelievers who fail to understand the power of hypnotherapy? 

Aaron concludes: ‘’Try it before you knock it. Just one session will begin the journey of transforming your life!’’